It’s been more than two decades since I started as a classroom teacher, but I still remember the feeling. I was 22 years old and teaching social studies in a suburban Chicago middle school. I felt confident that I knew just what to do in my classroom. I had great teachers in my own schooling and had student-taught with an exceptional educator. I was ready!
I couldn’t have been more wrong. There was no formal curriculum. One particularly harsh parent made me cry during fall conferences, telling me I had “big shoes to fill” and doubting I would fill them. I recall thinking, It’s only been three months. If I have any hope of sticking with this career, something has got to change.
Fast forward to 2024. After 15 years in the classroom and almost a decade of instructional coaching, I am grateful I stuck with the profession. But because I frequently coach new teachers who share their trials and tribulations with me, I haven’t forgotten what it feels like to be on the verge of leaving. Statistics confirm my observations; new-teacher attrition rates range between 28 to 35 percent for teachers with 1–2 years of experience and 25 to 29 percent for teachers with 3–7 years of experience, with high-poverty schools experiencing the highest turnover. People often ask me, “What made you stay?” I’m honestly not sure. My best answer: Pride, perhaps, coupled with a genuine enjoyment for creating lessons and watching learners learn.
So, what can be done to help new teachers have realistic expectations about their work and stick with it? There’s no easy answer to this question. But I do know that I had many misconceptions about teaching in the early days. Over time, I recognized the errors in my thinking. I often wonder how much easier my first years would have been if the educators around me had addressed my misbeliefs proactively. To get in front of this early on, I’d like to offer five common new-teacher misconceptions and what I think leaders might say to bring some relief.
Misconception #1: My principal expects me to be perfect.
What I wish my principal said: “Perfection is not the goal. Reflection and openness to feedback are my expectations.”
Studies have consistently shown that effective leadership improves teacher-retention rates; school principals’ guidance and encouragement play a significant role in influencing teachers’ choice to continue in the profession. However, I was afraid to talk to my first principal about my questions and problems because he was my evaluator. How could I admit that I didn’t know how to manage my 9th period class’s behavior or what resources to use to teach the content? Surely, I would be fired if I brought up issues.
Being vulnerable is always acceptable; it indicates that you are reflective, determined, and willing to seek solutions—and that is what leads to growth.
If my principal had emphasized that successful teachers identify issues, seek change, and apply feedback rather than getting everything right, I would have likely sought more support. Because he wasn’t explicit, I kept quiet.
Speaking up as a teacher can take on unproductive forms, like complaining (“My class is so difficult.”) or blaming (“My students are the ones being disrespectful.”). But being vulnerable (“I’m struggling to find a viable solution to my classroom-management needs.”) is always acceptable; it indicates that you are reflective, determined, and willing to seek solutions—and that is what leads to growth.
Misconception #2: Classroom management depends on the class.
What I wish my principal said: “Classroom management is about relationships, consistency, and structure.”
Classroom management is both a skill and an art. Like any skill, it gets better with practice, and like any art, it’s a work in progress. Some mixtures of students prove trickier than others, and what works for your colleague may not work for you. Consistency and empathy are two good places to start.
In my first year of teaching, I took students’ behavior personally. I had one student, who I’ll call Tommy, who frequently engaged me in power struggles. Finally, exasperated, I sent him to the principal’s office. He yelled on his way out, “Ms. Westman thinks she’s God!” What I know now is that Tommy may have just been trying to get my attention.
The key to redirecting behaviors is to ask yourself, Why might this child be presenting this behavior, and how might I meet the behavior’s need at its root? Sometimes, just having a one-on-one conversation with the student, where you seek to understand their perspective, can unlock the answer. As I discuss in my book Teaching with Empathy (ASCD, 2021), asking students questions with the goal of understanding them is one of the most effective ways to build mutually respectful student-teacher relationships.
Misconception #3: Parents are my partners.
What I wish my principal said: “Parents understandably lack objectivity about their children.”
You may be tempted to discuss issues with parents and caregivers before genuinely seeking to understand their perspective. There’s one problem: Parents sometimes think their kids are perfect (when they aren’t) or sometimes think their kids can do no right (when they can). Your role is to empathetically communicate how their child is doing in a way they can hear you.
For example, a new middle school teacher I coached received a call from a parent demanding to know why their child had a C in her class. When the teacher explained that their son hadn’t turned in any homework, the parent responded with reasons why he shouldn’t be penalized, including that he had already learned the content.
The teacher made a classic mistake: She became defensive. She was so afraid of complaints to the principal that she thought defending her homework policy would avoid escalating the situation. However, what the parent needed was to be heard.
Prior to conferences, the principal could have gently reminded the teacher that even if you don’t agree, you do need to first acknowledge parents’ perspectives. In this case, the teacher could have expressed care by saying, “It sounds like you are concerned that your child’s time isn’t being valued, and he isn’t earning the grade that reflects his learning. That makes sense to me.”
Then, the teacher and parent could have worked to find a solution together. These conversations aren’t always easy, but mutual respect goes a long way.
Misconception #4: You must grade everything you assign.
What I wish my principal said: “Everything you assign should be worthy of feedback, and feedback comes in different forms.”
Many new teachers often grade their students the way they were “graded.” However, it’s important to consider that the objectives and implications of grading go beyond assigning letters or numbers and can significantly affect student experiences.
During one school coaching visit, I met a 1st grader in the main office who had tears running down her face. She had gotten in trouble for throwing papers out of the bus window. When I asked why she did that, the student replied, “When my teacher grades our worksheets, she either gives us a sticker or writes ‘OK’ on it. I was throwing away my ‘OK’ papers, so I would only bring home papers with stickers.” This young student had already begun to form negative ideas about her capabilities from this seemingly innocuous grading practice.
As a new teacher, I remember thinking that feedback meant I needed to write long responses or find one-on-one time daily to confer with students. I know now that feedback is best served in small chunks; it should be objective, actionable, and let students know where they are in relationship to a learning target. And if my principal had explicitly de-emphasized “grades” in favor of feedback, it would have encouraged me to do the same. Asking students questions; making brief, pointed statements; or having a simple checklist aligned to learning intentions and success criteria can provide this guidance.
Misconception #5: You must follow all new initiatives with fidelity.
What I wish my principal said: “Don’t be afraid to speak up.”
When new teachers feel discomfort or uncertainty around new initiatives, it’s common to think there are only two choices: go along with them (and potentially let resentment build) or be vocal and risk being dismissed or seen as negative.
Instead, give yourself grace and reflect. If a new initiative isn’t working for you or your students, try to determine why by asking yourself, Is it the resource or my current skill level? Am I feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or confused by this initiative? Who can I approach for guidance or to communicate my concerns?
The “RAISE” acronym, which I created for professional development sessions, is a helpful method to guide communication with colleagues around any sticky issue. For example, say you’re having trouble with a new textbook adaptation. You could share your perspective by doing the following:
Recap: “I want to chat about the new textbook that we are implementing this year.”
Acknowledge: “I see the importance of having a standardized resource that ensures consistency across classrooms and aligns with standards.”
Inquire: “Can you shed light on outcomes we aim to achieve with this textbook? I’ve noticed that some of my students are disengaged, and I am wondering where there might be flexibility.”
Suggest: “Can I explore some alternate instructional strategies to address engagement? This way I would stay true to the textbook’s core while also tailoring my approach to meet my students’ varying needs.”
Extend: “Are you available to attend my team’s planning meeting on Monday and watch my lesson on Thursday? Then, we can review together how the changes work.”
Open communication decreases resentment and better ensures successful initiatives work for everyone.
Hindsight Is 20/20
It is easy for me to say now what I would have done then. The reality is that we all need reminders of our purpose from time to time. One of the best principals I ever had would tell teachers, “We are all on the same team. We just play different positions.” Those two sentences helped me keep my eyes on student success and see my principal as a partner in achieving that shared goal.
It is easy for me to say now what I would have done then. The reality is that we all need reminders of our purpose from time to time.
As we embark on another school year, I hope for more conversations among all educators about the issues we face and how we can reframe and approach them—together. While it may not be the ultimate solution, it’s a promising starting point.
Reflect & Discuss
➛ What’s one common misconception you had as a new teacher? How could you dispel that myth for your early-career colleagues?
➛ Is there space for open conversations between leaders and new teachers in your district? What routines and resources might create the conditions for these conversations to happen?
Teaching with Empathy
Learn how the three types of empathy—affective, cognitive, and behavioral—intertwine with curriculum, learning environment, equity practices, instruction and assessment, and grading and reporting.
