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September 1, 2024
Vol. 82
No. 1
School Tool

Should You Be a Friend or an Authority Figure?

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    Professional Learning
    An illustration showing a teacher befriending students in contrast with a teacher acting as an authority figure and standing at the front of a classroom
    Credit: SHUTTERSTOCK
      As a new teacher, you may feel conflicted about whether you should form relationships or friendships with students, or whether assuming the role of an authority figure should take precedent. The answer is that both matter. The combination of warmth and demand is positively related to student behavior and learning. Striking this balance is vital.

      Building Relationships

      • Get to know your students as individuals and build rapport.
      • Have fun with students appropriately within the classroom.
      • Share hilarious, harmless jokes to laugh with students.
      • Build trust.
      • Show that you truly care.
      • Be pleasant and positive (avoid using intimidation to coerce students to behave).
      • Communicate respect.
      • Share appropriate personal stories.

      Assuming Authority

      • Establish a disciplined and structured learning environment.
      • Mean what you say and follow what you say with actions.
      • Use positive, but assertive, body language when giving directions.
      • Be clear, consistent, and fair when implementing rules.
      • Use the firm, calm “teacher voice.”
      • Stand tall and pull your shoulders back to show confidence.
      • Make eye contact with students.
      • Demand that students demonstrate self-discipline, not just compliance.
      Excerpted from Stronge, J. H., Straessle, J. M., & Xu, X. (2023). Smart from the start: 100 tools for teaching with confidence. ASCD.

      EL’s experienced team of writers and editors produces Educational Leadership magazine, an award-winning publication that reaches hundreds of thousands of K-12 educators and leaders each year. Our work directly supports the mission of ASCD: To empower educators to achieve excellence in learning, teaching, and leading so that every child is healthy, safe, engaged, supported, and challenged. 

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